Sometimes, you have to let a dog be a dog. It’s possible to get so busy thinking of them as your baby (they are!) that you can easily forget you have an animal born with lingering instincts living with you. We all ask a lot of our pets when we expect them to forgo those instincts and behave more like our definition of civilized to live peacefully in our homes.
It’s certainly reasonable to expect your dog not to pee or poop in the house, eat the furniture, steal your sandwich, or chew on your guests. But you also have to make sure you provide acceptable alternatives that allow them to satisfy their instincts. You take them for walks where they can pee in strategic locations and sniff the world, give them treats and toys to chew on, and teach them how to socialize nicely with people and other dogs.
What if your dog seems to be playing roughly with those other dogs? Should you let them? What about all that growling and baring of pointy teeth? Is your dog in danger or a danger to another dog? How rough can your dog play with you and your family? You have to set boundaries and make sure your dog learns where those boundaries are.
How can you tell the difference between playing and fighting between two dogs? If it’s fighting, you need a safe way to stop it or avoid it, if possible. If it’s the playing, what may look scary from your human point of view is just dogs having a great time from their furry view. In this case, you can let your dog be a dog and have some good fun.
So let’s talk about rough play and how to handle it.
What is Rough Play and is It an Acceptable Dog Behavior?
“Rough” is a subjective term; what’s rough to some people is not to others. The same goes for many dogs. Generally, rough play involves wrestling, growling and snarling, play biting, and other actions that appear aggressive.
Rough play can come from overexcitement. Perhaps the dog hasn’t seen their dog friend in a while, or they’ve been alone in the house, and you just came home. It may also be that this is how your dog likes to play. It is completely normal. Whether it’s acceptable to you is another story.
Playing vs. Fighting: How Do They Differ?
To a pair of human eyes, it may be hard to distinguish between dogs’ rough playing and fighting. But there are signs you can look for to tell the difference.
When Two Dogs are Playing
You’ve probably seen the “play bow.” Your dog’s front legs and chest are flat on the ground while their back end is pointing up. A playing dog will bounce around while growling or barking loudly and may fall on the ground and expose their belly. Their behavior is more silly than aggressive, and the dogs will chase each other around. They do not try to get away from the other dog and will not bite with full force.
Also, they may turn around, so their back side faces the other dog. They will also bounce around with a relaxed jaw.
When Fighting is Imminent
When things get serious, the dog’s body stiffens, and they move with quick, stiff motions. They give low warning growls with lips curled back. Bites are delivered with full force. Some dogs will try to get away, and the tail is tucked between the legs.
There can be clear signs that a fight is imminent. A stressed or fearful dog can quickly escalate to fighting if the earlier signals are ignored or not recognized. The stiff body language, hard state, aggressive growling, and even resource guarding may be warnings of a fight to come.
When Dog Playing Gets Too Rough
Is play behavior always okay? Not necessarily. Dogs that like to play roughly can be too much for some humans and dogs. For example, an adult dog or an older dog may want no part of a puppy’s rough manner of playing.
Always Choose a Matching Play Partner
Both dogs need to match in intensity, size, and physical strength. When two dogs have the same energy level and can handle contact with each other, they can spend hours in the backyard having a great time.
But a mismatch can be a problem, even when the intention is to play. For example, we had a client who had a nine-year-old Maltese and a six-month-old Great Dane. Of course, the Great Dane wanted to play with the Maltese. Unfortunately, while the Great Dane meant no harm, it was too easy to unintentionally hurt the Maltese. In such a case, you’d have to restrict and monitor contact between the two dogs.
Playing With Humans
The matching concept also applies to people. Some don’t mind playing a little rough with their dogs. Others don’t want that at all. But everyone has to decide what is acceptable and what is not. Where do you draw the line? Wherever that line lands, you must ensure your dog knows where it is.
Should you get down on the floor and play with your dog? It’s a matter of matching the intensity and drawing that line. There may come a point where the dog puts too much pressure into a play bite, for example. You must stop the play immediately so they know it’s unacceptable. There’s nothing wrong with letting them run around and blow off some steam, but you have to exercise control at the same time.
Playing With Human Children
While some young children may be frightened by a rough-playing dog, others may be excited to jump into the fray. They may also be too young to judge how much roughness is too much. They can’t recognize the signs of play versus fighting.
Wrestling and other high-energy play can get the dog overexcited, and they can easily hurt the child unintentionally. The dog can treat the child like one of their littermates. A large dog doesn’t always know its physical power. In the excitement, it can step on a smaller child or bite with too much force.
Children can be the overly rough ones as well. They may not realize what they are doing is irritating or even hurting the dog. And they won’t recognize the dog’s warnings until it is too late and the dog instinctively defends themselves.
In place of rough play, children should play games with the dog, such as hide and seek, finding hidden toys or treats, and retrieving. Young children should never be left alone with a dog, even a friendly one. Dogs can make mistakes, and so can little children.
Controlling Rough Play
Rough play is acceptable if your dog has a worthy playmate who can handle the energy and activity. But even when rough play is okay, everyone, person and dog alike, has a limit. And as the dog parent, you sometimes have to make that decision for your dog.
Stop!
If you like to wrestle with your dog, have fun! But if they get overexcited and bite a little too hard, stop playing immediately. Show that it hurts, then find something else for them to do. You may need to stop your dog while playing with a child or an older or smaller dog. Again, stop the play immediately and redirect the dog’s attention to something else. That may mean putting on a leash or having them lie down for a while.
Spaying and Neutering Help Cut Down on Aggression
Spaying and neutering can give your dog a more calm demeanor. Hormones and the instinct to mate strongly drive intact dogs. Males are more inclined to mark in the house, ignore your commands, and get into real fights. Spaying and neutering will give you a better-socialized, less aggressive dog.
Basic Obedience Exercises
When your dog knows basic obedience commands, such as “Sit,” “Stay,” “Down,” and “Leave it,” it becomes easier for you to stop the unwanted behavior and direct their attention to you and your commands to calm down. In addition, you should train your dog to clearly understand what is out of bounds.
Redirect the Dog’s Attention Toward Acceptable Behaviors
When the dogs play too rough, stop that rough game and give them something else to focus on. Games like finding and retrieving, treats, and calming activities will diffuse the situation.
K9 Basics Can Help Teach Your Dog to Play Nicely!
Contact us if you need help getting your dog’s aggression under control! Our talented trainers at K9 Basics can teach your dog the limits of rough playing and show you how to be the alpha in control. Give us a call at (866) 592-2742 or, if you’re from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware, or New York, visit us at 131 Kenilworth Road, Marlton, New Jersey 08053, to learn more about our dog training services. Also, browse our blog and social media for various topics about dogs and their lives with us!
References
Cain, Erin. “How to Train Your Dog to Not Play Rough.” Wag!, Wag!, 8 Dec. 2017, wagwalking.com/training/not-play-rough. Accessed 12 Dec. 2022.
“How Can You Tell If Dogs Are Playing or Fighting?” American Kennel Club, American Kennel Club, 30 Apr. 2021, www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/are-they-playing-or-fighting/. Accessed 12 Dec. 2022.
“Help – My Dog Plays Too Rough with Me! What Should I Do?” K9 of Mine, 1 Sept. 2021, www.k9ofmine.com/dog-plays-too-rough/. Accessed 12 Dec. 2022.